Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Still dying that you shit outside
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
