Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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