we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize