New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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