We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
