Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
