I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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