Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
