you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
