I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
