Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
