when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
