the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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