Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
