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• (650): View more from California

  apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome

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  25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"

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• (850): View more from Florida

  He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"

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• (940): View more from Texas

  I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back

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• (206): View more from Washington

  After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.

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  25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On

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• (818): View more from California

  I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.

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• (713): View more from Texas

  You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever

  (281): View more from Texas

  I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE

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• (210): View more from Texas

  He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!

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• (406): View more from Montana

  i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders

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