I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
