is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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