Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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