People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize