It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
