Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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