I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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