big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
