Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
