my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
