She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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