I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
