He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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