Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
