Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
420 ftw
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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