She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
