I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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