problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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