I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
