That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Randomize
