Me. At least after what I've been through.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Vodka?
Forever.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
