Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
