I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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