it was like his penis was on wheels.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
