I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
