I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
