Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
