i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
