Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
