i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
