Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
