Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
