kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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