Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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