Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
A+ Viking dick
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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