i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
