I think I just saw someone hide a body.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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