Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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