Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
