What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
well you can't waste a boner
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
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