To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
We're too hungover to prance.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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