and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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