Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Quick, to the slutcave!
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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