Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
