can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
There r osticjed everywhere
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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